I believe it is our human nature to connect on shared topics and to represent an understanding of what someone has just said to us through some form of communication. This communication can be specific verbal or nonverbal cues, as well as include subtle gestures. I am aware that I use a variety of these actions to confirm, agree, or disagree with an individual. I also need to confess that I am a culprit of “preparing to speak”, while listening. Often I am caught up in the future or wanting to dwell on the past, and a quick fix I have found that helps keep me in the moment is asking myself, “what can I learn from this interaction”, and even “how can I contribute”. Sometimes contributing does not consist of me speaking or even presenting my own idea.
I love the empathetic listening strategies, and am going to commit to attempting to master, or at least get better at becoming an empathetic listener. I plan to do this by implementing the do’s and don’t of listening.
Don’t: Judge, probe or advise
Do: Reflect feeling, reflect meaning and use empathetic starters: “here is what I heard…”
Especially when working with students I need to DO more empathetic listening with starters and limit my judgment, probing or advice. I would say over all I am good at limiting judgment and probing, however I often reflect on a similar situation when a student seems to seek advice, and present what worked for me. I do this more to make an empathetic connection and not so much in giving advice. I am sure I can improve on this.